Gardening can be a powerful tool for coping with grief, but not everyone has access to a garden space. I offered my perinatal loss support group a simple, low-demand opportunity to create and nurture a garden. This teacup garden project evoked some of the deepest conversations we had had in months.

How can a simple teacup full of soil and a few tiny plants and trinkets heal and support? In fact it impacts our mood and health in many ways.

It is grounding.

Enjoying a garden, no matter how small, is a mindful activity that engages the senses. The smell of soil, herbs or flowers, the texture of soil and leaves, and the colors of plants and their arrangement; all of these experiences can be grounding and provide a healthy focus.

It creates connection.

A memorial garden can build connection with those we want to remember. Plants that relate to the lost loved one can foster that connection. Forget-me-nots, or rosemary for remembrance, birth flowers, plants with heart-shaped leaves, or pink or blue flowers can all represent your baby. You can include trinkets for remembrance as well. A small birthstone, icon, or memento can be nestled in with the plants.

It is a reminder of the eternal aspects of our shared experiences.

A garden evokes the cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth. Watching new growth emerge can remind us there is room for hope and resilience in the face of loss. Tending to a garden, even a tiny one, can provide a sense of control and purpose when grief leaves us feeling we have no control.

It Improves mood and health.

Soil contains a bacterium called Mycobacterium vaccae that activates neurons containing serotonin, a neurotransmitter that can make you feel better and act as a natural antidepressant. Soil is also rich in microorganisms that can strengthen the immune system by enhancing the production of white blood cells. Exposure to these beneficial bacteria can increase diversity on the skin and potentially in the gut microbiome. The more you incorporate soil contact into your daily life, the more you experience the benefits. In addition, time spent enjoying nature has been shown to lower cortisol levels associated with stress.

It provides opportunities for thoughtful discussion.

For grieving parents, a teacup garden is representative of how even something so very tiny, like the babies they’ve lost, can have a huge impact. What small things would they like to include in their teacup garden and what meaning do those things have for them? What small things need tending in the grieving parents’ hearts? What small changes can they make that could have a big impact on their healing? Gardens, like grief, require patience, flexibility, and acceptance.

Gardening has measurable therapeutic benefits that can reduce anxiety and provide comfort, healing, and purpose. I hope you will take an opportunity to tend to your grieving heart in some small but impactful way.