Reach way back to your high school biology class and remember how the  sympathetic and parasympathetic systems work.  The sympathetic nervous system is our “fight or flight” system. It raises heart rate and increases blood flow to the muscles and  brain.  We tense up and  become more alert and perceptive as our body releases adrenaline in preparation for “fight or flight”.  Ths is a common trauma response that people who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss will deal with every time their grief is triggered.

The parasympathetic nervous system works in the opposite way.  It helps us calm down. The parasympathetic system lowers our heart rate and blood pressure, relaxes our mind, makes us sleepy, and redirects blood flow away from our locomotive muscles and toward our digestive and reproductive organs.   These two systems work together like Yin and Yang to excite us and calm us as needed.

How it works

The parasympathetic system offers huge benefits for stress reduction.  It helps you stay calm and relaxed. It also releases key anti-stress enzymes and hormones such as acetylcholine, prolactin, vasopressin, and oxytocin. The Vagus nerve is the key to the parasympathetic nervous system. When stimulated, the vagus nerve puts the parasympathetic system into action. This is called the Vagal Response.

The vagus nerve  runs downward from the base of the brain and branches out in the chest,  continuing down into the abdomen. The word “vagus” means “wandering” in Latin—and that’s exactly what the vagus nerve does.  As it travels down the body it touches the vocal chords, heart, lungs, and almost every other major organ. The vagus nerve is one we do not consciously have control over.  That’s why we don’t have to think about breathing or our hearts beating, like we have to consciously move our arms or legs.

Even though we cannot control our parasympathetic system, we can “hack” it  by indirectly stimulating the vagus nerve ourselves, creating a Vagal Response.

There are three easily ways to stimulate your vagus nerve

1. Slow, rhythmic, diaphragmatic breathing.  Belly breathing. Almost every childbirth education method uses this as a key to relaxation. You already knew it works, and now you know why. Breathing deeply from your diaphragm, rather than shallowly from the top of your lungs stimulates and tones the vagus nerve.
2. Humming. moaning, chanting or singing. This lesser known method works well because the vagus nerve is connected to the vocal cords.  Using any of these methods to create vibrations of the vocal cords mechanically stimulates the vagus nerve. Monks will chant of the word “Om” to help deepen the meditative state.  The lower the tone of the sounds created, the more effective the stimulation of the vagus nerve,  Low moaning is more effective than high pitched screaming. Turn up the radio and sing along, allow yourself to make low tonal sounds when you are crying.
3. Submerging your face in cold water *. Cold water on your face and nose stimulates the vagus nerve. It is part of something called the mammalian diving reflex which helps mammals remain underwater longer by slowing respiration and heart rate. Just fill a large shallow bowl with ice water, and submerge your face for 10–15 seconds. You can do this repeatedly if you like. If this isn’t something you can or want to do in the moment, consider just washing you face with very cold water, using an ice pack or cold compress, or rubbing an icecube on your face can give some relief.

Stimulating the vagus nerve also improves digestion, lowers blood pressure, reduces inflammation, improves sleep, and reduces chronic pain. It is even used to treat depression and anxiety.  Repeated stimulation of the vagus nerve actually “tones” it and improves its natural response. We all should take up singing in the choir!

* if you have a heart disorder (or a family history of heart conditions), low heart rate due to medication, difficulty breathing, a phobia of water, or other major medical problems, consult with a medical professional first before trying this technique.