Writing a letter to your baby after loss is a great way to help process your grief. In a society that doesn’t provide many opportunities for grieving pregnancy or infant loss, writing to your baby is an easily accessible way to examine your deeper feelings.

Writing to your baby lets you acknowledge the reality that they existed. It validates your feelings about the impact their short life had on yours. The time spent thinking about your baby while you write helps maintain a bond with them that can offer you comfort.

Writing about memories or hopes you had for your baby creates a keepsake that you can revisit anytime you want. Capturing memories before details begin to fade preserves them as a memorial for your lifetime and even for future generations.

You can commemorate significant dates like due dates, anniversaries, holidays, or birthdays by writing to your baby. These dates are a great opportunity to celebrate your baby by making or buying a special card that you write to them. Or, you could choose to write about the feelings those dates may trigger for you. Sharing milestones of your own like a new home, job, or even the events of your daily life, can help you recognize and accept that your life is still moving forward.

Writing to your baby is a safe way to work through intense emotions like anger, guilt, or regret. Research shows that expressing deep emotions through writing can help relieve those pent-up feelings. You may not find many other avenues to do this part of the healing process in a society that expects you to just “get over” this type of loss.

Rituals like writing to your baby are mourning activities that help you incorporate your loss into the person you are becoming. You never finish grieving, you just learn how to manage the burden of it. You can release any negative emotions you may be holding by writing about them to your baby and then burning, burying, mailing (you can mail a letter to heaven just like you can mail a letter to the North Pole), or otherwise ceremonially disposing of the letter. You can even email your letter across the veil through my Spirit Baby Portal and have it posted on my virtual memorial wall.

A letter is a familiar framework for writing. Its intimacy creates a safe space to reveal the complex emotions of your loss. It’s a chance to honor the profound impact your baby had on you, however brief their life.

Not sure how to start? Download my free template and guide to writing a letter to your baby.